Pong Dam for a Christmas Picnic. Such beauty.

At the Masroor Rock Temple on Christmas Day.

Eating 'Khatta Orange' at Shahpur with my colleagues. They really wanted to capture my expression.

Look at the colours of the mountains. This is the road on which I live.

The girls saw me taking pictures of them and they got excited.

Pong Dam - you can barely see the horizon.

Boys laying seeds in the dry fields.

Women Labourers in Kand Village.

Photoshoot with schoolgirls on my way home from work. They loved the camera.

Some of my work girls  - they had adorned me with a bindi just before this photo was taken.

Once Restless Now Revived

I realize that every time I write a new post I spend the first paragraph apologizing for the hiatus I’ve taken in between the preceding entry and the next one. So I’ll keep it short this time: I’m sorry for the large time delay in my reflections. India keeps you fairly busy, I find, even when you least expect it to. I have been riding this rollercoaster of a journey for enough time now that I forget to stop, sit and process. But I’m doing it now. I’m riding the train from Chandigarh to Delhi and so I figure I’ve got some time to sort through what’s been going on in the last little while.

I guess I last wrote when I had just gotten to Ahmedabad and had begun my work at Taleem Research Foundation.  Unfortunately, that experience didn’t exactly work out. I tried it and I discovered how restless my whole self becomes when I’m surrounded by monotony. A bland routine of going to a box-like office and spending the next nine hours of every day staring at a computer screen statically editing a terribly lengthy and incoherent document on a topic inconsistent from the Foundation’s work was draining me out, making me a slave of unproductive research. I got out of there as fast as I could and began my re-discovery of India by first journeying to Rajastan and then by looking elsewhere for a professional experience that I fit into.

Success followed, but not before I had lived for a month in Chandigarh – too long a time to spend there, in my opinion. In India, Chandigarh is home. But it’s also a place where family seems invincible. The subtle power of the family is so strong it pushes mightily down on you, no matter how hard you try and fight it.  So I had to get out of there too.  I was becoming restless  and angry; I went through periods of time where I longed for the freedom of home, where I could go the post office and to the market by myself – where I alone have an ATM card and I alone choose how to use it.  

I was starting to resent this decision of coming to India and was clouded by my desperation to leave that I forgot about the irreplaceable experience I’d had thus far. I forgot about the amazing connections I’d made with the family that seemed so far away just a few months ago.  This reality became all too clear when, mid-November, my family lost one of our pillars: My grand-aunt.  I won’t go into detail because that’s a novel of an experience by itself, but it was the first time that I saw the strength and beauty of family, and when death made itself really visible to me. While my familial bonds became that much stronger, the veil between me and death became just a little bit less opaque. It has been tough attempting to manipulate such a veil, so that I am affected by it but so that I also learn to live despite its presence. I’m getting better at that and I’ve been grateful to have family around for this.

After a bizarre period of needing to get away from family and then being drawn back into the familial sphere during a time of mourning (in addition to semi-facilitating an amazing 10 day theatre workshop for young college girls), I made the decision to leave Chandigarh, so that I could avoid being smothered by family at the same time that I could be close to them for the rest of my time here.  Thus came Plan B: The Move to Dharmshala.  

A decision motivated by my Aunt’s colleague who is passionate about women’s empowerment as well as by my longing for a grassroots experience with human rights and women’s issues, I got my things together and headed up north to Dharmshala, the home of the Dalai Lama and a place in incredible cultural flux – a place I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d get to see any time soon, a place I didn’t think I’d ever have any connection with.  But, life is full of surprises. And so it was that I took an incredibly bumpy (and quite hilarious) bus ride up to the Himalayas, where I’ve started the next phase of my Indian journey. I was given a shared apartment above a family home in the small village of Rakkar, about 15 Kilometres north of Dharmshala and was introduced to all of my team members, who I’ve come to love for their incredible generosity and for all of their quirks, which make my Himalayan experience equally surreal and comedic.

 

I work at Jagori Grameen, a feminist organization dedicated to the facilitation of leadership and empowerment of youth, women and marginalized farmers in rural Himachal Pradesh.  My colleagues are a mixture of international volounteers, social activists from across the nation, and local village girls and boys dedicated to the Jagori cause. It’s a dynamic work environment which has its deficiencies (which NGO doesn’t?) but also has an incredible spirit. I’ve spent 2.5 weeks in this setting and I already feel more fulfilled than I have ever felt in the last 4 months.  It’s an intense, very cold, sometimes alienating experience that I’ve dived face first into. I can’t wait for the next 3 months of work here. I’ve already begun a rather difficult village library project that I’m anxious to get off the ground.

The work environment of Jagori aside, being in the Dharmshala area is itself fascinating. Surrounded by an incredible mixture of local Pahari communities, international tourists and activists, as well as large clusters of Nepalis and Tibetans, the cultural fusion going on here is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced.  The bizarre manifestation of spirituality and socio-cultural cleavage between Tibetans and Indians is, for instance, all too apparent during the dark of the night – when alcohol and drugs are floating around like candy and relationships between foreigners and locals far transcend established conventions of social behaviour. By contrast, the increasing prominence and popularity of monasteries, nunneries, Thangka art Institutes, Tibetan markets and Dalai Lama teachings alongside existing Nepali and Himachali art and artifacts gives the place an incredible diversity during the day.  

I am still trying to understand the intricacies of the place but so far, it’s been an incredible experience; my body is adjusting to the consistent temperature fluctuations and the intense physical exertion as my mind tries to take in the socio-cultural complexity that surrounds me. 

Picture this: a small coffee shop style eatery in McLeod Ganj, the Tibetan  and tourist hub about 5 Kilometres North of Dharmshala, sharing its space with an internet café, adorned with crisp furniture and flat screen TVs, specializing in Tibetan and Italian delicacies as well as amazing herbal teas, and playing Indian film music like it’s not strange at all. This is one among many bizarre and yet fascinating aspects of the Dharmshala area that I’m just starting to explore.  I hope I can get the time to reflect and write more often while I’m here.  Maybe then I’ll get to share with you some of my unique experiences riding the big orange ‘Raju Bus’ to and from work, spending time with my very special colleagues and new friends, and experiencing Jagori on my own. It should be quite the thrill ride.

Until my next ‘stop and think’ moment.

I wish I were that balanced.

Prayers at Jama Masjid, Ahmedabad.

Swaminarayan Temple, Ahmedabad

The simple life.

Beautiful spot. 

Mughal architecture. Old City, Ahmedabad.

This bull was a bit too close for comfort.

Indian English

This post is LONG overdue - I hope I won't have to say that for every subsequent post I write.

LSAT is over, finally. Let's hope I won't have to take the exam again (though I think that's pretty much a given).

So since I wrote last there's been a lot of strange/cool/funny/crazy things that have made this trip to India a constant adventure. I'm no longer living in Chandigarh with my grandparents but have now made my way to Ahmedabad, in Gujarat, where I'm just starting to maneuver my way around a hectic and completely unfamiliar work environment.

It's weird that I keep having experiences that I think have made me the strongest I can be, and then right away I'm shoved into more experiences that test the comfort zone that I've rebuilt for myself, again and again. For instance, last year after figuring out how to operate public transport in Kenya and traveling across cities by myself, I really thought 'you know what, I can do anything.' Still, the moment I am given the opportunity to take a public bus in the traffic-filled city of Ahmedabad, all I can do is try and find a way out.

That being said, I think I was pretty courageous when confronted with the do-or-die scenario that was presented to me after my first day of work yesterday. Okay, I'm exaggerating. But the whole idea of taking the bus got me a little worried once I got myself to the bus stand and didn't even have a clue which side of the bus I was to enter from.   Thank god, once I arrived at the stand there was a girl sitting there, about my age, who was more than willing to help. We became good friends in the 2 hour period that we spent together.  She told me stories about herself, her friends, her school and her life. I did the same. She asked me how I get my hair to be so curly and I told her I envied the fact that hers was so straight; she asked me if her newly tailored outfit was pretty and told me that my Hindi was pretty good. That made me smile. After a long, crowded and sweaty ride, she directed me to my stop - after which I had to orient myself and eventually found my way home, thank goodness. I was so thankful that I met her - this really small chirpy 20 year old, who had lost her parents and her brother in an earthquake when she was in 4th grade; who was living with less-than-pleasant  relatives; who had big dreams of going abroad to study, and who really wanted some excitement out of life.  It's true what they say, the people you meet really do shape you in ways you never thought possible. I hope I get to meet her again soon.

So that's been my Ahmedabad adventure story to date. Along with buying a traditional Gujarati lehnga for Garba festivities on the last night of Navratri and going on a really cool heritage walk of the Old City,  my first day on the job was good. I'll update you on the rest once I find a routine for myself and once I figure out where i'll be living near my work. At the moment I'm staying with my cousin which has been it's own fun. It might be interesting to explore being completely independent though. I might get lonely. But that's what online TV and blog posts are for - provided I have reliable internet, of course.

I have some other less immediate, but equally fun and funny stories from Chandigarh and Delhi, if you're interested.

First off, you know you're in India when you go to the bakery and as you're paying the guy for a piece of cake he is simultaneously updating his Shaadi.com profile. For those of you not familiar with Shaadi.com, google it. It's the path we Indians created towards true love. I swear I had to quickly grab my cake and go so I didn't become this cashier's new eligible bachelorette.

While in Chandigarh too, I learned a new word - a new concept, if you will. I received a text message regarding my flight information from Ahmedabad to Delhi informing me that my flight had been 'preponed' fifteen minutes. Now, this word, prepone, was a little strange to me so I googled it.  This is what dictionary.com told me:

— vb
	( Indian ) to bring forward to an earlier time

Apparently it's a very common word used in India - and it makes a lot of sense! When I discussed it with family members, they'd ask me what we would say in Canada to convey this concept. Ummmmm.... 'the meeting was scheduled earlier than planned'? That's a mouthful when compared to the word prepone that's for sure. And since learning this word I've heard so many people using it. Pretty awesome discovery, I have to say. Although I'm not sure how easily my Canadian friends will catch on. Either way, it's going to be pretty hard to get out of the head bobbing and the Indian English once I come back home.

Some other experiences I can share with you before I take my next blog updating hiatus:

a) My grandparents are pro cockroach killers. When it's almost midnight and they are together violently swatting at the millions of cockroaches that call the kitchen their home, you can officially call them 'cool'.

b) I went to a sheesha bar in Chandigarh a few weeks ago and to my surprise I was the only girl there. I guess others were even more surprised, because I got a few camera phones pointed directly at me.

c) Even though I have some exposure to the differences in organization and punctuality that characterize Indian versus Canadian culture (notice how nicely I articulated that), nothing could have prepared me for the annual inauguration function of first year Bio-chemistry students at Punjab University. It started two hours late, and louder than those performing were the seniors in the back howling, hooting, and shouting crude remarks like you wouldn't believe. If I were back home, I'd have given them some attitude. That being said, it was certainly interesting to observe how students express themselves at these kinds of events.

d) My brief stay in Delhi was amazing. In three days I started to develop a good relationship with my energetic 3 year old cousin Dheera, who speaks better English than I do; I took an early morning stroll in the beautiful Lodhi Gardens; I went shopping and I even got to see a wonderful performance of Kuchipudi (Classical dance from South India) in Delhi's Old Fort. I met some wonderful people and got a feel for Delhi as a city, which by the end of this trip I hope to make more time to do.

Okay so I think you might have just about had enough of this update. I'll provide you with others soon! Enjoy Thanksgiving weekend my fellow Canadians.

this path is gorgeous in the evening

beautiful

enjoying the view

musicians by the lakeside

(Re)Discovery of Place and Individual

I have come to the conclusion that I am terrible at maintaining a blog. I'm not quitting though.

I've been studying about 45 hours a week for the LSAT. I have three weeks to get a spectacular score. I don't feel I'm there quite yet so I'm hoping for a miracle. Pray for me, please.

I don't think I'll be able to update this blog of mine as best as I would like until my first round of LSAT has been completed in October.  But I'll try and get a few posts in, here and there.

Staying in Chandigarh with the grandparents this past month has been interesting, to say the least. I'm slowly getting the hang of it, but I can't wait to travel and start some sort of development-related work soon. I'm getting restless.

I've also realized - more than I perhaps did in Kenya - that my 'do-it-myself' attitude often comes in the way of the family's desire to always be together. I'm not exaggerating when I say that; it gets tiring, as much as I love them. This conflict of interest has affected both my study regimen (though I'm slowly figuring out a routine for myself) as well as how I spend my free time. I definitely miss the freedom that I have back home to try things as I please; but I know that this kind of experience is irreplaceable. I don't think I'll ever question my mother again for imposing the limited restrictions on me that she does. Actually, thanks mom, for allowing me to develop a curiosity for life and the adventures it comes with.

To put a happier spin on things, I'm really enjoying 'living' in Chandigarh, as opposed to visiting it, which I have done in the past. It's nice to develop a familiarity for where things are - the good restaurants, movie theatres, bakeries, shops, etc. It makes me feel less of a foreigner. Though, I won't lie, I get slightly excited whenever I see someone who isn't brown. It's a bit funny, I guess, to feel your heart jump whenever you see white folks dressed in safari gear (as if all travel to the developing world warrants a camouflaged appearance) and it's even more bizarre to claim them as 'your own'. But, that's inevitably what happens when you cross borders: You get a better sense of what's home and where you feel you truly belong.  I think that more than in any place that I've been in the past (which hasn't been so many, I'll admit), I never feel as 'Canadian' as I do when I'm in India. I think that's because either everyone robs me of any trace of an Indian identity or they all expect me to be something which I can't quite live up to. Either way, I realize just how much of me has been shaped by where I've grown up, lived and experienced. In the last week I felt such joy seeing two friends wearing t-shirts with Canadian references; and, ironically, I felt 'at home' seeing white tourists walking the streets of Chandigarh.

The only thing that I wish I had a bit more of right now in Chandigarh is time and freedom. I'd like to go to the lake by myself in the early morning and observe the sun rise in tandem with all the disheveled thoughts swirling around in my head. I want to do this alone, without my grandparents, without my cousin and/or family friends. I want to sit on the ledge and watch people, alone. Similarly, I'd like to go to the market alone, I'd like to communicate with rickshaw drivers and street vendors alone, and I'd like to develop some sort of independent relationship with the city that doesn't always involve chaperones and drivers.  I feel I learn a lot more about myself and about a particular place that way. I feel I'm confident enough to do that here now, too.

This post has probably gotten a lot more existential than I originally intended, and I have another 8 hour study day ahead of me in the morning. I'll soon post pictures of the sunset by the lake, as I've managed to take them so far.  A couple of them really exemplify what I wish to experience more of in this beautiful and chaotic country.

To all my family and friends starting school/work/etc at this time of the year, I wish you all the luck!

Sleep Country

So I’m writing two posts today because I have to catch you guys up to what’s going on since I arrived in India two weeks ago.

It’s been a rocky start, that’s for sure. The flight was smooth – didn’t get more than an hour of sleep, but I expected that – and once we got to Delhi, we were greeted by my fabulous grand-uncle (is that the proper term?). Delhi has changed so much since I’ve come last. There is a metro system in place, the airport is beautiful, the traffic is much less congested than it used to be. I can’t wait to go back and wander around the city.

The morning after we arrived, I had a slight contact lens mishap and basically couldn’t see out of my right eye for the entire day. Rather, I had an icepack on it all day to keep it from swelling and running like a waterfall – not exactly the best ‘welcome to India’ gift, I have to say. I had to take a facecloth, tissue, and ice with me on the train to Chandigarh that evening and greet the rest of my family half blind. That was fun.  It’s healed and I’m good now.

The next couple of days were full of food and family. It was the first reunion we’d had in years. Actually, my uncle had come from Bangalore with his wife and son and my aunt and uncle had come from Shimla, making it the first time in about 23 years that my mother and her siblings were all together at home with their parents. This has been really special.

The third day in India, I ate something strange and got sick. Yay. Somehow I went three months in Kenya last summer without any horrible illnesses but three days in India and I’d already had to get two sets of medicines from the doctor. How fun. I’m back to normal now. I hope it stays that way for a little while.

Along with all the sickness and humidity and chaos that has come with my Indian experience so far this month, my research contract has also fallen through. I’ve been a bit frustrated as a result. Therefore, I will no longer be going to Ahmedabad in October after I write the LSAT (which has itself been a rollercoaster ride), but will rather be staying either in Chandigarh to work on domestic violence issues with a family friend who is a human rights advocate or I will be going to Dehradun, about a 5 hour drive away, to work with the Vice-Chancellor of the a university there who is doing some amazing work on issues of culture, religion, gender and development.  Who knows, maybe I’ll find a way to do both. 

While my original plan has not worked the way it was planned – for organizational reasons that I don’t care to describe – and I am disappointed that I won’t get to stay in Ahmedabad for a long period of time, I’m still planning a visit there and I am keeping my head high. At least now I’ll get to stay closer to my grandparents and there is more flexibility for travel around the country! After all, being in India for 6 months is never a bad thing.

Despite all the bumps so far, seeing family and friends has been incredible. You forget what it’s like to have the love and support of family around until it smothers you. It’s amazing. I have a feeling that my cousin Satvika and I will get very close by the end of these 6 months. I’m also super excited to discover this country that is so much a part of me. 

It’s amazing, too, what difference there is between the constant stress in North America and the slowness of life here. 3 PM every day is nap time, and while I have so much work to get done – figuring out job details, preparing for the LSAT, doing my research on sex-selective abortion in Canada – somehow sleep is a necessary part of my day.  I feel like such a slug, it’s fantastic. Such a pace reduces stress and increases productivity for the things that you do set your mind to, I find. This was why I became more patient and less stressed last summer in Kenya, and why I hope to find that feeling again here in India.

This is also why I’m already starting to love it here: The beautiful chaos is coupled with days that are enjoyed moment by moment. So, even while things haven’t exactly gone my way, it’s just the beginning and there’s so much more to come.

Until next time!

Mom at the train station in Delhi chatting with the 5 baggage handlers that were hired to take care of our million suitcases.

Me with my baby cousin, Ojus. He is the most amazing child I've ever met, no exaggeration. Grandparents and others are eating in the background.

“You know you’re in India when…”

A list my sister and I have been constructing:

1. Your mother dedicates 4 out of the 6 permissible check-in luggage pieces (and 1/3 carry on’s) entirely to clothes for the kids - which inevitably makes traveling from one place to another so entertaining. Let’s just say the airport lineup was dominated by our not-so-subtle baggage and the train journey to Chandigarh comprised of a thirty minute negotiation with baggage handlers. Passengers on this train were also not too happy.

2. Air India - because if you’re going to journey to India, you have to start your chaotic experience with the flight - is the only airline that feels the need to include step by step toilet usage instructions after its routine video explanation of the aircraft’s security features. This is obviously in addition to the frequent spritzes of air freshner that were made deliberate at regular intervals towards the end of the flight. I swear I couldn’t get Russell Peters out of my head once we landed.

3. Even the Bhajans (religious hymns) being sung at the temple are inspired by Bollywood. Who ever heard of a prayer remix of a Hindi movie song? Not kidding, during Janamastmi, a religious festival in celebration of Lord Krishna’s birthday, there was a DJ hired to mix music while the pandit recited some ridiculous lyrics.

4. Before going to the temple, your whole family congregates to make sure that no one is wearing good shoes, and a detailed plan is made so that someone is outside at all times playing shoe bodyguard while the others are making the rounds inside the hot and crowded space.

5. You step into an ocean of mud on the way to the market and your aunt comments, “I hope that’s just mud.” Fantastic. This is then followed by a group excursion through a narrow alley-way, inclusive of all efforts to dodge unpredictable “mud puddles”, just so that we can get to the hair salon in time. Amazing.

6. There is always 10+ people in the house – visiting, dropping gifts off, hanging out. Every day there’s some new party of people dying to see you, even while you have no clue who they are. ‘Namaste auntie and uncle’ is a key phrase around here.

7. You can order paneer tikka and channa sandwiches at coffee shops! Way cool.

8. Crossing the street is a life-or-death affair (although much better than Nairobi, I have to say).

…these are just a few key moments. With 5 months and 2 more weeks to go, you can bet there’ll be many more (even better) ones.

Let the wandering begin

Hello all!

Thanks for visiting my blog - I hope I can keep it interesting while I'm journeying across India this year. Who knows, maybe my future adventures, travel and otherwise, will get mapped onto here as well.

I've often compared myself to a butterfly. Like the North American monarch, I'm a wanderer, famous among my loved ones for my love of travel and for my unshakable independence. While the butterfly sometimes frightens me, with its bold colour and constant movement, I am drawn to its uniqueness.

I'm not sure what this life has in store for me, so I've decided to share fragments of my journey with everyone who wants to listen.

I'm starting with my flight to India this 2011/12 - a journey inspired by my pursuit for the love of family, the beauty of culture and the mystery of research. I hope you enjoy reading as much as I will enjoy sharing.