I have come to the conclusion that I am terrible at maintaining a blog. I'm not quitting though.
I've been studying about 45 hours a week for the LSAT. I have three weeks to get a spectacular score. I don't feel I'm there quite yet so I'm hoping for a miracle. Pray for me, please.
I don't think I'll be able to update this blog of mine as best as I would like until my first round of LSAT has been completed in October. But I'll try and get a few posts in, here and there.
Staying in Chandigarh with the grandparents this past month has been interesting, to say the least. I'm slowly getting the hang of it, but I can't wait to travel and start some sort of development-related work soon. I'm getting restless.
I've also realized - more than I perhaps did in Kenya - that my 'do-it-myself' attitude often comes in the way of the family's desire to always be together. I'm not exaggerating when I say that; it gets tiring, as much as I love them. This conflict of interest has affected both my study regimen (though I'm slowly figuring out a routine for myself) as well as how I spend my free time. I definitely miss the freedom that I have back home to try things as I please; but I know that this kind of experience is irreplaceable. I don't think I'll ever question my mother again for imposing the limited restrictions on me that she does. Actually, thanks mom, for allowing me to develop a curiosity for life and the adventures it comes with.
To put a happier spin on things, I'm really enjoying 'living' in Chandigarh, as opposed to visiting it, which I have done in the past. It's nice to develop a familiarity for where things are - the good restaurants, movie theatres, bakeries, shops, etc. It makes me feel less of a foreigner. Though, I won't lie, I get slightly excited whenever I see someone who isn't brown. It's a bit funny, I guess, to feel your heart jump whenever you see white folks dressed in safari gear (as if all travel to the developing world warrants a camouflaged appearance) and it's even more bizarre to claim them as 'your own'. But, that's inevitably what happens when you cross borders: You get a better sense of what's home and where you feel you truly belong. I think that more than in any place that I've been in the past (which hasn't been so many, I'll admit), I never feel as 'Canadian' as I do when I'm in India. I think that's because either everyone robs me of any trace of an Indian identity or they all expect me to be something which I can't quite live up to. Either way, I realize just how much of me has been shaped by where I've grown up, lived and experienced. In the last week I felt such joy seeing two friends wearing t-shirts with Canadian references; and, ironically, I felt 'at home' seeing white tourists walking the streets of Chandigarh.
The only thing that I wish I had a bit more of right now in Chandigarh is time and freedom. I'd like to go to the lake by myself in the early morning and observe the sun rise in tandem with all the disheveled thoughts swirling around in my head. I want to do this alone, without my grandparents, without my cousin and/or family friends. I want to sit on the ledge and watch people, alone. Similarly, I'd like to go to the market alone, I'd like to communicate with rickshaw drivers and street vendors alone, and I'd like to develop some sort of independent relationship with the city that doesn't always involve chaperones and drivers. I feel I learn a lot more about myself and about a particular place that way. I feel I'm confident enough to do that here now, too.
This post has probably gotten a lot more existential than I originally intended, and I have another 8 hour study day ahead of me in the morning. I'll soon post pictures of the sunset by the lake, as I've managed to take them so far. A couple of them really exemplify what I wish to experience more of in this beautiful and chaotic country.
To all my family and friends starting school/work/etc at this time of the year, I wish you all the luck!
I've been studying about 45 hours a week for the LSAT. I have three weeks to get a spectacular score. I don't feel I'm there quite yet so I'm hoping for a miracle. Pray for me, please.
I don't think I'll be able to update this blog of mine as best as I would like until my first round of LSAT has been completed in October. But I'll try and get a few posts in, here and there.
Staying in Chandigarh with the grandparents this past month has been interesting, to say the least. I'm slowly getting the hang of it, but I can't wait to travel and start some sort of development-related work soon. I'm getting restless.
I've also realized - more than I perhaps did in Kenya - that my 'do-it-myself' attitude often comes in the way of the family's desire to always be together. I'm not exaggerating when I say that; it gets tiring, as much as I love them. This conflict of interest has affected both my study regimen (though I'm slowly figuring out a routine for myself) as well as how I spend my free time. I definitely miss the freedom that I have back home to try things as I please; but I know that this kind of experience is irreplaceable. I don't think I'll ever question my mother again for imposing the limited restrictions on me that she does. Actually, thanks mom, for allowing me to develop a curiosity for life and the adventures it comes with.
To put a happier spin on things, I'm really enjoying 'living' in Chandigarh, as opposed to visiting it, which I have done in the past. It's nice to develop a familiarity for where things are - the good restaurants, movie theatres, bakeries, shops, etc. It makes me feel less of a foreigner. Though, I won't lie, I get slightly excited whenever I see someone who isn't brown. It's a bit funny, I guess, to feel your heart jump whenever you see white folks dressed in safari gear (as if all travel to the developing world warrants a camouflaged appearance) and it's even more bizarre to claim them as 'your own'. But, that's inevitably what happens when you cross borders: You get a better sense of what's home and where you feel you truly belong. I think that more than in any place that I've been in the past (which hasn't been so many, I'll admit), I never feel as 'Canadian' as I do when I'm in India. I think that's because either everyone robs me of any trace of an Indian identity or they all expect me to be something which I can't quite live up to. Either way, I realize just how much of me has been shaped by where I've grown up, lived and experienced. In the last week I felt such joy seeing two friends wearing t-shirts with Canadian references; and, ironically, I felt 'at home' seeing white tourists walking the streets of Chandigarh.
The only thing that I wish I had a bit more of right now in Chandigarh is time and freedom. I'd like to go to the lake by myself in the early morning and observe the sun rise in tandem with all the disheveled thoughts swirling around in my head. I want to do this alone, without my grandparents, without my cousin and/or family friends. I want to sit on the ledge and watch people, alone. Similarly, I'd like to go to the market alone, I'd like to communicate with rickshaw drivers and street vendors alone, and I'd like to develop some sort of independent relationship with the city that doesn't always involve chaperones and drivers. I feel I learn a lot more about myself and about a particular place that way. I feel I'm confident enough to do that here now, too.
This post has probably gotten a lot more existential than I originally intended, and I have another 8 hour study day ahead of me in the morning. I'll soon post pictures of the sunset by the lake, as I've managed to take them so far. A couple of them really exemplify what I wish to experience more of in this beautiful and chaotic country.
To all my family and friends starting school/work/etc at this time of the year, I wish you all the luck!
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